So Much For That Good Nights Sleep……

March 2, 2012

Got quite a shock a few minutes ago and now with all the adrenalin pumping I’m not likely to get back to sleep anytime soon.

May as well give Y’all some more on what’s been happening the last couple of days.First the little shocker.

Like all little old men, I have to get up in the middle of the night to go pee. Nothing unusual there. I’ve been sleeping in a recliner chair the last 2 nights and that has worked out like a champ. Well, when I went to get up it seems that the tubing for the epidural cath got pinched in between the 2 sections of the chair w/o my knowing it. Yeah, you see this coming don’t, ya?

There’s larger tube coming from the pump and a smaller on that’s hooked to my back  where I can’t see it.

My momentum on 1 end and the grip of the chair had the larger tube….. Pop! It came apart at the fitting (much like a plumbing or brake line on your car).

Of course, me being the calm cool and collected guy I am, I started yelling at the Wife to get her ass up and help me here. She’s sound asleep and has no idea WTF  a I’m being a hysterical little shit about and I wasn’t helping her much in the process of waking up any either.

I keep telling her to find the catheter tube which she confuses with THAT catheter tube which was pulled a couple of days ago and thinks the drugs have ravaged my brain or I’m having a nightmare.

Yeah, I can see how a certain level of confusion could be attained in the given situation.

And of course, I REALLY GOTTA PEE NOW. Jackie Gleason would have had a ball with the entire situation.

She eventually figured out what I was acting so calm and rational about and located the smaller of the 2 tubes and handed it to me. I told her to keep hold of it and call the nurse for backup. So about the time the nurse shows up, I got my pants around my ankles peeing like a race horse and carrying on like a fool. Fun times.

We all stood around staring at the ends like they were magically gonna fix themselves till another nurse comes in (who looks about 14) and says she saw this fixed once before. Sure enough, She cleaned the ends up, disconnected the parts and slapped it all right back together again.

Heh.  So far it seems to be working fine and be leak free. Lets hear it for the Kid!

It was supposed to be pulled tomorrow anyway, but I’ve been trying hard not to be “That Guy” while I was in here. “That Guy” is the big pain in the ass no one wants to deal with, who rides his call light for every little thing, makes incredible demands on your time and everyone deflates when his call light goes on. Since my nursing career is basically over and I’m on the receiving end of things here I want folks to know I appreciate all of what they’re doing for me. Could have blown it pretty easily there and I’m fairly certain that the sight of my old saggy ass may have ruined that young nurse to a certain degree. Hope not.

OK. Now that we have that out of the way and I’m still awake I’ll back up a bit and give ya a rundown of what’s been happening since Monday.

After pooping like a Goose all night Sunday, the Wife drove me to the hospital at O:dark thirty for the Big Event.

As I mentioned earlier, I was ready to get, Chucky out of there. There were a surprising number of folks  here to support the Wife and myself. Including my Brother, Shop Teacher Bob. Unfortunately, I got to see very few of them before they started processing me into the system.

2 IV sites, Vital Signs, the official gown and the like.

Papers to sign. A lot of papers.

This little girl who looks about 17 comes in and says she’s an anesthesiologist and is going to place an epidural cath into my back for post op pain control. (Yes, this is the thing I yanked apart just a bit ago)

She also said it may hurt a bit. It didn’t hurt at all and has been a lifesaver on post op pain. So if you ever have surgery and they suggest one of these things, Take my advice and go for it.

They wheeled me out of there shortly after that and that was it for me for about the next 5 hours or so,

Woke up in the recovery room to the smiling face of my old friend, NurseP. That was nice. Recovery room was a snap. No nausea at all and feeling pretty good overall, all things considered.

NurseP informed me that Doc SH/NB had been able to do almost the entire surgery Laproscopically except for 1 small incision to yank all the big parts through.

Pretty impressive Really. Besides the incision, there’s about 6 other Lap sites scattered about in various places. Not 1 big incision running from my pubes to my lower chest. That’s gonna make a big difference in healing time and overall level of comfort and I was real happy about that.

Basically, things were pretty unremarkable and went well. Doc told me later that Chucky the Tumor has grown right through the Colon and that explains the spots on the liver and all of the Lymph node involvement.

They got me all settled into my room here and that should have been the end of it for day one.

But Nooooooo. About 11:30 that night and completely out of the blue, the muscles on the right side of my neck, shoulder and shoulder blade all at once decided to spasm. Big spasm. So big you actually see the muscles turning into knots as it happened.


Here I am with little or no pain after having half my Colon cut out and like a bolt of lightning, this happens.

Pretty sure I scared both my Wife and the poor nurse who was there when it hit. Now I’m wired up, have pneumatic devices on my lower legs, various IV and oxygen tubes hooked up and a ton of bed linen all wrapped around and I needed to sit up RIGHT NOW!!

I just could not remain laying down and told them both that they had to get me sitting up ASAP.  I tried not to be a jerk about it but seriously doubt I was successful.

After what seemed like an hour, they extracted me from all the accouterments previously mentioned at got me to the side of the bed which helped a lot but did not fix things. The nurse obtained a stat order for a big slug  of  Valium through the IV and that helped some. Still couldn’t lay down though and they parked me in a chair. I asked for a recliner chair but nobody was able to find one and I spent the first 2 nights sleeping in a straight backed chair till my boss came up to see me Yesterday and casually asked me on his way out if there was anything he could do for me. To which I answered, “Yeah. Find me a Recliner to sleep in”. Not 5 minutes late he was back with one and I slept like a baby last night.

My Doc had gotten a hold of the Pain Management Doc earlier and he ordered another med, a Lidoderm patch and said he’d hook me up with a TENS unit. That’s an electrical stimulator that basically confuses the nerves and doesn’t allow the pain impulses to make it to the brain. Good stuff. Got that set up yesterday morning and it contributed greatly to last nights good sleep.

I’m still in the chair and will stay here. I have no problem with that either as it works and unless I get another tube or something caught is comfortable. Not gonna risk trying to lay back down.

Doc says everything looks good at this point and I’ve been doing laps of the unit here trying to get that gut woke up and moving again. We are all eagerly awaiting big farts and small turds.

I got some solid food today, though I took it easy i didn’t eat much of the meat provided with the meals so as not to overload things.

Well the test pushes of the epidural I tore apart tells me things are in fine working order and I’m getting loopy again so I’m gonna sign off now.

Later, Unk


17 Responses to “So Much For That Good Nights Sleep……”

  1. Gymi Says:

    Great news Unk, well not about yankin’ yer tubes apart and muscle spasms and such. I’m sure you’ll be blowin’ the curtains around and sprayin’ the bowl in no time.

  2. judydee Says:

    Sounds like post-op is going well. I know what you mean about folks looking so young, I swear that they’re letting 12 year olds into med school now–I’ve never seen such young looking residents. Sorry about the “little” incidents that you’ve experienced, but let’s just call them learning opportunities for the young folk. As far as being known as “that guy”, in my experience a sincere apology and chocolate go a long way in mending fences. Keep working the plan!

    Prayers and Blessings


    • crazyuncle Says:

      Judydee, Agreed. As you know, common courtesy just isn’t that common anymore and I’ve tried to be as nice to everyone as they have been to me.

  3. Karl Ushanka Says:

    Good to see you online again, and VERY glad to hear that most of this experience has been positive and that friends and family are spoiling you.


  4. crazyuncle Says:

    They sure have been nice Karl. If all this didn’t involve, Chucky the Killer Tumor, it would be a piece of cake!
    The Daughter Unit has loaned me her old laptop, and now that I’m not so Gorked out from the meds I can do quite a bit more.

    I am such a Cheap Date when it comes to drugs.

  5. Clint Says:

    Funny….Big Farts, Small Turds was the name of my band a few years ago…

  6. Lisa Says:

    Thanks for keeping us all posted and up to date on how your doing. Thinking of you often. And hopefully, the latest big farts and small turds coming soon.

  7. That Guy Says:

    Good deal, Unk.

    BTW, what are you trying to say about not being “That Guy?”

    • crazyuncle Says:

      That Guy is the one no nurse wants to take care of. I don’t want to be, “That Guy” to any and everyone who has been so good to me here during this stay.

  8. Jean Says:

    Good results. Good progress. Good people hovering around you.
    In spite of the tube pop and the spasm, you sound pretty good!

    Good thoughts will continue your way, however.

    • crazyuncle Says:

      Your right, Jean. Other than those comedy classics, I’ve been doing real well. Heck, my belly hurt before the surgery. I can deal with this. May get out of today if these killer farts turn solid!

  9. Lonnie McCool Says:

    Reading the other comments got me to thinkin’ that it would be a “blast” to participate in a benefit concert for colon cancer where all of the bands have a name that fits the theme. Wouldn’t that be the $#!T.

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